WE ARE OUR OWN WORST ENEMY!

Who runs the world? girls! thanks to Queen B, even if we didn't know that we women had the power to run the world, she reminded us. I am all for girl power, women empowerment, I feel women can do ANYTHING they put their hearts to without coming second to men, I believe that in the beginning, God made us male and female and gave us the same mandate with men to multiply, replenish, dominate, subdue and so on. 

What I have also discovered is that women being treated as second class citizens and the general feeling we get that we are less humans is not so much the men' s fault as much as it is our fault. We are our own worst enemies! We treat fellow women with disdain and then wonder why men are treating women without respect. Women are labeled worldwide to be the worst bosses and it doesn't get better when they are dealing with women like them, in fact it is worse. Don't let me even get started with the way we bad mouth any woman or lady we see that's doing well or God forbid she's doing better than us, we quickly label her, call her names and tell anyone who cares to listen how she 'slept her way to the top' ...our jealousy no get part two!

When it comes to relationships haaa...that's another blog post. The way we deal with ourselves when a guy is involved always leaves me wondering. You catch your husband or boyfriend cheating and the first person you attack is the woman, was the man blindfolded or like we always say, was he jazzed? Is he a baby, didn't he know what he was doing? How come all the blames are heaped on the woman? There is no sight as sorry as seeing two grown women fighting and tearing each others panties over a man while the man in question watches in fascination. The other side of this coin is also the woman who sees another woman's husband or boyfriend and decides he is the best thing after slice bread. How can you willingly and purposefully go after another woman's property? The sad part of this is the women who sleep with their friend' s spouse and justify it. They recently passed a bill in Kenya that allows polygamy and women all over Africa are ranting and raving (me inclusive, am really really pissed) but then again i started thinking that if women didn't allow themselves to be treated as options, where will the men get women to marry as second wives. If every woman decides that she deserves to have her own husband to herself without sharing him with others, there will be no polygamy in the first place. That's wishful thinking on my part because in a society where we have told ourselves over and over again how 'scarce' men are and how you won't be respected until you have the MRS title before your name, why won't women 'grab' whoever they see so far they can say they are married, forget the fact that he has a wife /wives at home with innumerable children. ..we must toh marry. 

When women are raped or abused, the first set of people to point accusing fingers are the fellow women. What was she wearing? why did she also refuse to sleep with him? why is she packing her things because he beat her up, what's the big deal? You see women who know their husbands are sleeping with their daughters and they keep mute because they want to save face and they don't want to give up whatever lifestyle the man has been providing. 

 Finally, we women marry and complain about the 'evil mother-in- law' , then when our sons too grow up, we repeat the same cycle and become another woman's mother- in- law from hell. Have we ever thought about how we felt when we were in that same shoes and our mother- in- law was giving us the 'royal treatment', how come we are quick to forget such things. We hardly hear of evil father-in- laws so what is it with us women? Asides from the mother- in- law saga, the other one is the sister- in- law. You hear of sisters-in- law who have decided to make life a living hell for their brother's wife, why do we women do these things to ourselves? 

 I am not trying to abdicate men of all the blames, no am not. What am simply trying to say here is if we women don't stick together and start treating ourselves the way we want to be treated, we cannot complain when men treat us badly and take us for granted. There is also this saying that 'nobody can treat you badly without your permission' , we have consciously or unconsciously given men the permission to treat us badly through the way we treat ourselves. I know its a tall order but will it be asking for too much if we women watch the backs of each other? Will it be so bad if we can drop all the beef, jealousy, back bitting and just love and be a good sister, friend, mother, mother-in- law, sister-in- law and do the best we can in whatever capacity God has placed us. Let us learn to love and treat others as we will want to be loved and  treated.

Thanks for stopping by, stay positive. ..xxx.