ARE YOU READY???
I know there are lots of single ladies like me who will like to get married some day. Some are more than happy to marry now while some are still enjoying the single life so much that they don't want to marry anytime soon. whichever category you fall into, the bottom line is that an average young person does not want to be single for the rest of his/her life. What I have also discovered is that most times we say we are ready to get married because we think we old enough, we don't really sit down to consider all other factors to know if we are truly ready to be tied to someone else for the rest of our lives. The fact that you have finished university and you are older than 25 and all your mates are getting married doesn't mean YOU are ready to be married. I came across a check list for a godly young woman that can be used to determine if she is truly ready to be married. Trust me, when I saw the check list ehn, fear catch me...there is a lot to be done. I decided to share the check list here courtesy of peacefulsinglegirl.wordpress.com , here we go:
- Are you able to be flexible if you don’t get what you want?
- Are you able to deeply and sincerely forgive when you are sinned against?
- Are you able to roll with new challenges and unforeseen problems without freaking out?
- Are you focusing on pleasing Christ more than people?
- Do you have a good handle on what respect looks like to husbands?
- Are you willing to not take over or try to be in control and to allow your man to make mistakes as he leads?
- Are you tempted to be a Bridezilla? If there is ANY HINT of “bridezillaness” in you at all once you get engaged. That is NOT a good sign!!!!!!
- Do you believe you are always right? How is your pride level? Do you embrace humility?
- How do you respond when you are wronged?
- Have you worked through any trust issues and healed from childhood wounds? To some degree, you can’t completely know ahead of time how marriage may bring these up even more, but have you addressed these things and are you seeking Christ and His healing and His truth in these areas?
- Are you able to allow your man to be different from you without feeling bitter toward him?
- What happens if your guy doesn’t give you all of the attention you want? What do you do?
- Are you truly finding all of your contentment in Christ alone, or are you expecting your man or marriage or children or romance to make you happy? What will you do when your husband fails you?
- Have you experienced the grace, mercy and forgiveness of God in a profoundly personal way? Do you understand that you are a wretched sinner on a heart level, and that there is nothing good in you apart from Christ?
- Are you ready to realize that marriage is much more about Jesus and about your faith in Him than it is about you and your husband? Are you able to see that you are playing a part that God has assigned for you to bring people to Christ? That marriage is about the gospel and about drawing many to Jesus much more than it is about you?
- Are you able to accept that all people are wretched sinners, that you will be hurt in marriage and you will be sinned against at times, that your husband will be far from perfect (and you will also be far from perfect)? Are you prepared to extend much grace?
- Are you able to take responsibility for your own emotions and happiness?
- Are you willing to give and give of yourself even if you don’t receive anything back?
- Are you on board with what your guy believes is his calling in his life?
- Are you sensitive to and concerned about what is important to your man?
- Are you willing to trust his leadership and decisions even if you don’t agree with him and even if you don’t get your way?
- Are you and your guy both seeking Christ much more than anything else in life?
- Are you able to focus on the good even in difficult situations?
- Have you both seen each other at your worst, when you are sick, exhausted, frustrated, overwhelmed, etc…?
- What are your expectations of marriage? Once you get married, are you willing to lay down your expectations?
- Is there anything your man could do that would make you want to divorce him? If so – you may not be ready for marriage. For a believing wife, divorce really should not be and does not have to be an option.
- Are you able to respond gently when someone is harsh with you?
- How do you treat waitresses and customer service people if they don’t give you good service? Does your character in those moments reflect Christ in Galatians 5:22-33?
- What is it that you need to be happy in life? If you believe you need anything other than Christ alone – you may be dealing with idolatry. It would be good to look at your motives and priorities and to allow God to help you examine them carefully. We can easily deceive ourselves to think we are serving Christ but put other things above Him in our hearts.
- If something tragic were to happen to your husband – he became paralyzed, got cancer, developed dementia, if you face infertility or the death of a child – are you still willing to joyfully stay and serve, respect, honor and love your husband even if he can’t “repay” you at all or you suffer in this life?
- Are you able to approach marriage with great humility, realizing that there are many things you don’t know yet?
- Are you prepared to 1. love God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength no matter what. 2. love others with God’s love even when they sin against you?
- Are you ready to allow God to teach you through trials and suffering to love your husband-to-be with His love in I Corinthians 13:4-8
Truthfully, you may not have a positive answer to all these questions and that is fine, the purpose is not that you should be "perfect" (even though we are all striving towards perfection), the purpose is to keep working on the "not so good" areas so that we can enter marriage with a little less baggage and drama.
The bottom line is to check how "ready" we are. If the husband of destiny you've been trusting God for suddenly shows up today, are you ready? Lets try and check our level of preparedness because there is this saying that "success is what happens when opportunity meets preparation".
Thanks for stopping by, stay positive...xxx