Relationship status : Its Complicated !!!

I know relationships are anything but simple, they are in most cases complicated. Every good relationship whether husband - wife, brother- sister, boyfriend - girlfriend and any other relationship you can think of, all require hard work, patience and trust. However, as much as I appreciate and recognize all these virtues that are needed in a relationship, I also believe that when you get to a point where you think or believe your life is in danger in a particular relationship, you should take cover because no relationship is worth dying useless and meaningless death for. Okay, I know you are beginning to wonder where this Dami girl is going today again, well, I want to talk about DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, yes you heard me right.
If there is one thing am so passionate about besides God and my family, its Domestic violence against women. I can't seem to understand or wrap my mind around the fact that a man you love and who professes to love you back will decide to punish you or teach you a lesson by whipping you into submission. This issue has so gotten out of hand that we now hear of  men who  has "mistakenly" killed their significant other. I know that we are in Africa and women see it as a thing of shame to pack out of their husband's house for any reason especially when children are involved but I will like to remind married women that you can only be useful when you are alive. If you get killed, especially in Nigeria where we have a crippled legal system ,your husband will go Scot - free and marry a "wicked Step-mother" that will take care of your children.
Married women I can understand a little but the one that is most appalling is the ladies who stay in relationships where their supposed "boyfriend" beats the living daylight out of them. Am sure you would have read or heard about the 22 year old Laspotech student that was beaten to death by her boyfriend. Seriously ladies, please explain how deep the love is that you will choose to stay in a relationship not even a marriage that an immature boy( boy because mature and real men don't beat women) will be punching you, talking to you anyhow just to make you have a low self- esteem, probably rape you and at the end, tells you its all your fault, he got angry, he loves you...blah blah blah.
I can go on and on about this particular subject but to cut to the chase, this is the bottom line; if you notice any SIGN of violence in your relationship as a single person, there is no other remedy, RUN!!! For married women, there is a longer process but the first thing is to find a way to protect yourself and seek for help urgently. However, single ladies, don"t seek for any help, just pack your load and run like the devil himself is chasing you biko nu. Thank God you are not yet married to the beast ( Hallelujah) so there is nothing to consider in this issue because if you die in that relationship, even God will be angry with you.
I took the liberty to research some signs of a violent partner, its for both men and women because I understand women too are fast becoming Hulk Hogan in their relationships. The signs are listed below (you can thank me later), so read and abeg pass on to others, lets save lives and destinies.
  • Does your partner tease you in a hurtful way & play it off as a “joke” or tell you you’re being too sensitive?
  • Does your partner call you names such as "stupid" or "bitch"?
  • Does your partner act jealous of your friends, family, or co-workers or coerce you into avoiding or not spending time with them?
  • Does your partner get angry about or make you change the clothes & shoes you wear, how you style your hair, or whether or not you wear makeup & how much?
  • Does your partner check-up on you by repeatedly calling, driving by, or getting someone else to?
  • Has your partner gone places with you or sent someone just to "keep an eye on you"?
  • Does your partner insist on knowing who you talk with on the phone, check your call log or phone bill?
  • Does your partner blame you for his problems or his bad mood?
  • Does your partner get angry so easily that you feel like you're "walking on eggshells"?
  • Does your partner hit walls, drive dangerously, or do other things to scare you?
  • Does your partner often drink or use drugs?
  • Does your partner insist that you drink or use drugs with him?
  • Have you lost friends or no longer see some of your family because of your partner?
  • Does your partner accuse you of being interested in someone else or cheating on them?
  • Does your partner read your e/mail, check your computer history, go through your purse, or other personal papers?
  • Does your partner keep money from you, keep you in debt, or have "money secrets?"
  • Has your partner kept you from getting a job, or caused you to lose a job?
  • Has your partner sold your car, made you give up your license, or not repaired your car?
  • Does your partner threaten to hurt you, your children, family, friends, or pets?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex when you do not want to?
  • Does your partner force you to have sex in ways that you do not want to?
  • Does your partner threaten to kill you or themselves if you leave?
  • Is your partner like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde," acting one way in front of other people and another way when you are alone?
According to professionals in this field, if you recognize as little as three out of the these signs listed above, you need to seek help or RUN (according to my verdict *winks*) don't rationalize or explain away any of these signs. You don't have any excuse again o, pass this on to as many people as possible. God bless you.


Thanks for stopping by... Stay positive xxx

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

1000 VIEWS....10,000 REASONS

Image
Yaaaayyyyyyyy, its my blog's 1000 views celebration , (dancing azonto, kukere, skelewu,and limpopo altogether). I can't quite believe it that people have taken time to read all my ramblings and whining on this blog. I am grateful, really really super duper grateful because it means the whole world to me that something that I thought will never see the light of the day has been viewed 1000 times. I am also grateful because when I suddenly had this brain wave to start a blog in February, I never thought in my wildest imagination that by September of the same year I would have had people view that same blog 1000 times. I remember the first post I wrote, I remember how inadequate and unsure I was, I remember the excitement of posting the "supposed jargon", I remember how scared I was after posting it, fear of people not reading it, fear of writing rubbish, fear of grammatical errors (lol), fear that I wont have anything else to post after that, fear that the blog wil
Read more

LOVING in 2017

Image
Happy New Year everyone, this greeting might be coming a little late but it's still a new year nonetheless. How are we all doing so far in 2017? Are we keeping to our resolutions and goals? Hope we haven't thrown our New Year Resolutions into the bush just yet? I know it can be quite exciting to list out the things we want to do better in the new year but I have come to realize that setting goals is the easiest thing, achieving the goals however is another ball game entirely. One of my own resolutions/goals this year is to be more intentional about loving people. We all know that loving people is not as easy as the books or media depicts. In fact, it is one of the hardest things to do. No wonder Jesus said that the greatest commandment in the Bible is to LOVE GOD and LOVE OTHERS as ourselves( Matthew 22:36-40).   In order words, if we are successful in keeping that one commandment of Loving God and Loving others as ourselves, we have invariably obeyed all the other
Read more

Times and Seasons

Image
Hello blogfam, its been a while right, apologies for the long silence, hopefully it won't happen again. So today, I want to blog about Time and Seasons because I have realized that we human beings are very fond of measuring everything and everyone by time or seasons. We sometimes attach greater importance to how quickly we achieve something much more than the quality of the achievement. What am I trying to say here? Let me give some common examples - We will rather finish school at a certain age with anyhow grade, studying anyhow course rather than spend time waiting on God to discover purpose and know the particular course we should study, why we should study it and if we should even bother going to the university at all. Another example is marriage - We will most times rather rush into marriage with someone we most likely know we are not compatible with but because we want to be married at a certain age, we will ignore all the signs and just go ahead so that we can be s
Read more